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Really? [22 Dec 2008|12:06pm]
Secretary of Defense Robert Gates... recently re-appointed to his position by president elect Obama, founded Al-Quaeda in the seventies to do U.S. bidding over in the middle east. I guess that is common knowledge in government circles. So, two things now: we put Saddam Hussein in power AND we started Al-Quaeda...


Can we please stop meddling? Is there a time-out that we can call, get into some sort of huddle, and get a new game plan? Can we please fire these shitty employees?

PS, congress just voted themselves another raise.

Everyone, please pay attention to things.
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[10 Nov 2008|04:40pm]
Last night I had a dream that I bought a bear for my dog to be friends with and I hugged the bear and rolled on the ground with it.

Cough syrup with codeine.
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I don't wanna be a socialist [01 Nov 2008|05:11pm]
Everyone at my work thinks that rich people should be forced to help out poor people. As a poor person (comparatively) I am insulted by this. I make a little over a grand a month, and while this is great in sub-saharan Africa, it doesn't get you much here. But I am okay with that. I can mostly pay my bills. I sometimes wish a random rich person would will me their life's savings, but I would kind of like it to be their choice, not their lawful and patriotic duty. More than that, however, I would like to be able to come up with my own way to make some cash and do with it what I want. Ideally, if there has to be an income tax, I would like to have a big list of all the potential places for MY money to go, and I could tick each box and designate the amount of money I would like to go to that particular organization. That would be great.

But there is this stupid jealousy towards the rich, like they are evil by virtue of their vast amounts of cash. I don't think, however, that there is anything wrong with making some money and keeping it. Lots of the rich people out there had good ideas and worked hard to make a big pile of money. Yeah, I think that a good amount are born into it, and a lot have been dishonest or just unethical to make their money, but I think that having that is better than forcefully taking money from people. I call that robbery, even if it's legislated. Democracy is ruined once the poor people realize they can vote the rich people's money to themselves. Somehow, I feel like we got stuck into this rut of having unjustified anger toward the rich people instead of getting off our asses and doing something ourselves. A generation of complainers, we are.

Back to the original point, I am sort of insulted that people think that the poor are too stupid to work things out for themselves. Maybe too lazy to work hard enough to make that money, too uncreative to come up with brilliant new ideas, too unmotivated to actually do anything worthwhile. I want to come up with my own solutions, I do not want Uncle Sam to steal some cash from Bill Gates and deliver it to my apartment. Let's call the kettle black and call this socialism. It's okay, that's just what it is. It's strange to me that this system is such a colossal failure everywhere it has been attempted, yet it is still a popular idea. In France, it's illegal to work more than 35 hours a week. Sounds rad, but what if you couldn't pick up a few extra hours to pay for something? They are doing this to ensure that everyone gets their fair share of work, but it really just ensures that everyone stays poor. The world economy sucks because of these kinds of laws. I don't deserve money that others have worked for. I want it, for sure. I want to have been born an heir to some huge fortune, but the next best thing is being able to build my own fortune and give it to my kids.

Being rich isn't evil. It isn't a crime and it shouldn't carry a punishment. So everyone should stop being jealous babies and voting to steal money from people that earned it. That's right. Jealous babies.
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What can I do? [14 Oct 2008|11:22am]
Slowly, bit by bit, the private banks are being nationalized. Today the government gave another 250 billion dollars to other banks on the brink. Well, they didn't give it to them. They bought stock in the companies. Bush says this is "to preserve the free market," but federal intervention is the opposite of a free market. Trying to control this fluctuation is not letting the market be free.

It will balance itself out. People will lose money. Then they will earn it back when things get back to normal. We just experienced like ten years of excess, and the lean times have to come. It's nature. Supply and demand. I am really mad that Ben Bernanke, an unelected official is in control of the nation's money. Is it only obvious to me that this is illegal at best? At its worst, it's sinister. We're about to see what this sort of power does when concentrated in one man/ organization.

This is a very corrupt time.
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Free speech [13 Oct 2008|01:42pm]
Someone in my neighborhood has like fifty super republican signs all over their yard. Along with the pro-Prop102 signs, there are McCain signs, one that says "I think, therefore I am not a democrat", some red, white and blue elephants, a "Red and Proud" sign in the shape of AZ, etc. Like a super over the top right wing family. "Rush is RIGHT"... ha ha. And its cliche. They have huge trucks, big flags, bumper stickers about guardian angels... its an absolute eyesore. I was walking penny today and the guy's yard was destroyed when I walked by. I mean, no sign was left alone. All X'ed out, some now said "bigot asshole" and it looked like the guy's big trash can had been strewn out over the whole front yard. The man who lives there was out there with a bag picking stuff up and he was old. Sixties, sorta heavy, dumb fishing hat, tie dye shirt, teva sandals. He was so sad. Just shocked and picking up the mess that someone had made of his stuff. I walked by him and he looked up at me and he had watery eyes. He just nodded and went back to cleaning up. I put Penny away and helped him pick up what was left. He said he had been so excited for his son to see his yard because they are both big republicans and he thought his kid would get a kick out of it. But someone decided that this dude didn't have the right of free speech, that because his views were different (and more than a little offensive), his right to express them was not valid. I always thought that no matter what, people had respect for that. I have never seen political ads defaced until this time around. I am sure its happened, but I have never seen it so blatant.

This is not a fascist country (yet). We all have the right to have our views and be public about it. No matter how backward or unpopular, we are protected. There is a lack of respect today, even a violence, in people. I wonder how these people would feel if their tactics were used against them?
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[07 Oct 2008|12:12pm]
Anyone else? Questions?
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friendly questions from Liam [06 Oct 2008|10:48am]
1. Do you plan on trying to play shows with your solo stuff or is more just for yourself?

~It might be fun to play shows, but I don't have any plans. Right now its just an outlet.

2. I want to do a kind of pop punk (Huntingtons, Queers, GroovieGhoulies) type band, what do you think of the name "the Ladies"?

~That seems too good to be available. If no one has it, I say that's a great name.

3. Why don't you do more shows for your visual art?

~That's a good question. Now that I have more time for that, I will be able to concentrate on making more and actually doing something with it.

4. You've talked about it for a while, but when are you gonna make a comic book?

~I have tried writing some stories and whatnot, but I can't seem to make anything that keeps me interested. I go back and forth but whenever I put something on paper, it feels like I am trying too hard. Like all those new movies that name drop bands. Not that I name drop bands, but trying too hard to be whatever. I guess the short answer is that I want to make one but not until I get a good idea for a story or someone gives me a good idea for a story.

5. A friend of mine Jon, admits he has a thing for crazy girls, do you think that you do, or do you think you've just been "lucky"?

~I have thought a lot about this and the answer that came to me is that the crazy ones put it out there and make it easy for me. Since I'm a little insecure, I go for that faster than I would go for someone of better quality because that involves me going further out on a limb. Also, there is probably a subconscious (or conscious) fear of getting close to someone who is actually cool and losing them as opposed to losing someone who wasn't that cool to begin with. I wouldn't say that I have a "thing" for crazies though.
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[21 Sep 2008|06:15pm]
The end of an era. I've lost my super powers.

Also, when the economy finally hits the bottom, the republicans will blame the democrats and the democrats will blame the republicans and for once, both parties will be correct. Whose money are they using to bail out these huge companies? Yours and mine. Well, no. Our kids and grandkids' money. Ours was spent during Vietnam. Thank you, Dick Nixon, LBJ, James Earl Carter, WJ Clinton, and the unforgettable Bushes. Whoever comes next will be the next in line to fuck us all even more. Everyone has shit policies but no one cares, so long as they can get a goofy looking picture of their least favorite candidate and make fun of it. If someone was snapping your photo all day long, I'm sure we could find some good ones and add some funny captions to highlight how stupid you are. But the jokes on us. Ha ha, we're all poor.

Some good advice that I need to take to heart:

"It is no good scolding people. I have enough to worry about in myself to spend time lamenting the fact that God has not seen fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence."
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The Language of Love [14 Aug 2008|04:24pm]
So many changes abound... plans for this and that, routines smashed, continents traversed, oceans crossed, all for naught. All to return to the Same Old, unchanged and maybe worse for the wear. Because no matter how far you go, you can never get away from you. No matter how much the scenery changes, the seer remains the same. Changing the view is a desperate attempt to not find the fault in yourself. Sure, it's important to shake things up, but maybe you're not in a rut. Maybe you are the rut.

Perhaps you are exchanging one distraction for another. If you surround yourself with people who are exactly like you, you never have to change or grow up or make a hard decision on your own. Weeding out all the uncomfortable people who question you takes away all the potential depth you could acquire by letting yourself get irritated, challenged, questioned, and harassed. It's not always easy to abide these friends, but they are infinitely beyond value. If you've given up on these people, you've dug your own hole, and what a shallow hole it is.
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Hello LJ! [22 Jul 2008|10:57am]
It's been awhile. It's hot in AZ. All the time everywhere I go. Its horrible.

The band recorded an amazing record in fourteen hours. Mostly. A few more hours in the studio should tie up the loose ends, but we have the bulk of everything done. For sure, it is our best and most solid work to date and it will blow everyone away. I'm very proud of my band.

I decided to try to go raw. I hate "going" anything, but the more I read about raw food vs cooked food, the more appealing it seems. I'm taking it in steps and its been pretty awesome. I'm not in the market to be 100% raw. I don't want to be lame at family meals and I really like pizza (as evidenced by my vast doughy midsection). Also, I am fond of the drinking, though that has been cut out a lot since Natalie decided to be good. But I eat at home pretty often and that's pretty much all raw. Anyhow, if we go out to eat, expect me to get something in that vein.

If it needs to be said, Batman is badass. Besides it being just badass, there are some very deep and slightly religious issues that may or may not be brought up at another time. I will have to think about it for awhile. I'm really tired of sitting here. I hope you all are well.

Grow up and stop talking shit.
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hey dudes [24 Jan 2008|10:58am]
im going to the UK today. see ya around!
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[07 Dec 2007|09:46am]
it seems that i have done so well in my art history class that the final is not an event i will be required to attend. my professor informed me of this fact in front of the class, much to the shagrin of a young man who has made it his life's goal to get a better grade than me on at least one test. sorry, billy. i got rewarded for my excellence. maybe if you were more excellent, you would have been rewarded as well, and been able to at least have tied me for once. sometimes i do get a break from all the difficulties of life. i have to remember that. good day, all.
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[05 Dec 2007|10:05am]
[ mood | quixotic ]

i moved and it's awesome. i'll admit that when nate decided that he couldn't work and attent school full time and thought it would be a good idea to bail and move back in with his mom, i was a little upset and disappointed. so after a few months of being a procrastinator and a few days of frantic searching, i totally found an awesome apartment with no room mates. its pretty large as far as apartments downtown go, and its only mildly scary. i have the basics set up, the large and necessary things are in their proper places, and now i just have to get all that little stuff out of the way. party soon, for real.

in other news, this past saturday was my LAST DAY EVER at the post office. it was cold and rainy and a huge conglomeration of examples of why i was happy to be quitting. no more crazy grunting man throwing magazines at me. no more filling my vehicle with dirty boxes. no more only getting paid once a month. no more driving forty miles to work (i can ride my bike to my new job). no more stupid mail all the time. i really jsut got sick of talking about how much it sucked, and tired of not having fun with life.

oh, and i got this over the past month or so.

life is pretty sweet.

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suckers [05 Nov 2007|12:14pm]
the dietrichs got publically and brutally thrashed this past friday on the radio. of the many creative suggestions, my personal favorite is that we should all burn our instruments. but i have my consolations, even if they are simply circumstantial.

first of all, the bands these people like are just washed up bluesrock-rehash bar bands. to be enjoyed by them would mean either an insane departure from the run-of-the-mill bands they like or that we are THAT kind of band. so, it was already kind of stacked against us.

second, that album is almost three years old and the songs are even older. half of the people that were present in the photos of that album are no longer with us, so many things have changed.

third, we got our tunes played on the radio in LA at one in the afternoon. enough said.

fourth, 99% of the bands i respect would not get a glowing review from these guys. Nick Cave is the first one to come to mind. PJ Harvey, too. Joe Strummer would get told that he sings like a crack hoe. Im not comparing us to these amazing musicians. It just gives me hope.

fifth, up yours, Frosty Heidi and Frank.
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the end of trying [22 Oct 2007|03:24pm]
im going to stop trying so hard. you know, trying to avoid every bad thing that might come along, trying to make people into who i feel they should be, trying to put on a persona for where i am. im going to stop trying to be good. its not that im afraid of failure, that's pretty much a permanent fixture in my life. but i think that trying to good, do the right thing, etc. is a way of putting on a persona. that's something that is ingrained into my braid from so long ago that i almost didnt recognize it as something that was an addition to my basic self. not that im going to try to be un-good. i am just going to be. i have spent many years daintily stepping over "problem areas", making excuses, even outright lying, just so i feel good about myself and avoid doing something that could be seen as bad by someone. but i didnt really feel good about myself, i felt like i was better than people. better than the ones who got caught up in destructive things, better than the brokenhearted, and most importantly: better than you. its a silent way of putting others down in order to bring yourself up. i only recently decided this. and im really just kind of tired of carrying all that baggage around. i cant sit and worry about disappointing people. for me, that only ends up as indecision and stagnation. for 28-ish years i have been trying pretty hard to live up to all these things and haven't done much for myself. however, it was all selfishly motivated. and it all just ends up as these ridiculously long posts about nothing at all. me taking myself too seriously! look at the title of this post, just awful. how gaudy. im trying to break the spell, loosen the grip, what have you, of the pointless things that go on. all the dumb things i am afraid of that will never happen, or that will happen but wont be nearly as bad as i assume. je vais bien.
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a letter to myself [15 Oct 2007|12:17pm]
never put yourself above anything. never say to yourself "i will never kill a man, i would never do that. im not that kind of person." you will soon find out that you are indeed that kind of person, and that you have embodied things that you once thought you were too good to come into contact with. too good! boy, are you ever mistaken. not only are you not "too good", you are prone to do all these things. you were born to fall.

every good decision you have ever made was due to some sort of peer pressure or a miraculous intervention from the good Lord. from your mind, nothing good has ever come. you tried to kid yourself for years, thinking that not doing is the same as not being. but a car is still a car even if it never drives, and an eye is still an eye whether it sees the light of day or not. and just because you can hate the person you are, it doesnt change the fact that you are that person. and you know you can change what you do, but it doesnt alter the fact that those things are still in your heart waiting for a way out.

so, what should you do? fake it til you make it? that hardly works. you have already been faking it, while making it seems further and further off. you are sick of being good, i understand, but you don't want to be bad. can you just make mistakes and accept them as that? can't you accept that perfection is impossible, and not something you were meant to strive for? or maybe your idea of perfection is misinformed. maybe the picture of a perfect life is something from hell meant to make us all miserable and feeling like failures.

maybe you can't live up to your picture, maybe you cant live up to anyone's. feel this and remember that when you think someone is doing wrong, maybe you are trying to force your idea of perfection on them. you do that a lot. no one is as good as you, right? no one has an open mind like you, right? they like terrible things like nascar and american idol. you know these things dont matter, not like the things you like. you know, the things that are really important and creative and artistic. no one can control themselves like you can. everyone, i mean everyone, should do it like you do it. just remember how you feel right now the next time you feel that judging the guy in the hurley shirt is justifiable.
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Havalina Rail Co. - The Diamond in the Fish [10 Oct 2007|05:35pm]
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Grinderman - Depth Charge Ethel (Treacle Sessions) [28 Sep 2007|12:13pm]

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[02 Sep 2007|11:48am]
working on the painting.
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[20 Apr 2007|02:02pm]
i officially have zero dollars left until may first. getting paid once a month kind of sucks. i feel like i have more money than i do, because my account is like way full towards the beginning of the month, and it dwindles really quickly. not to mention the fact that my car has needed some costly repairs as of late. (i still have to replace the window that was mysteriously broken when i got out of work one day in late march) on the bright side, it's nice to have the money to fix it.

So, what i'm going to do is offer a special for my services. any painting you want, ten bucks. it wont be huge, but it will be awesome and you wont be disappointed. let me know. 623.341.1868.
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